Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Life after Marriage

On my last entry, I received a comment that goes like this (I’m posting it exactly as it was written):

“First criteria man sees in a woman is her character. The way her do stuffs. Examples the way she eats, the way she drinks, the way she walks. That's what really attracts man.”

I’m sure the person who commented this meant it in a good way, but let me explain to you why this sort of mentality will doom your future marriage. People will argue that the main reason a marriage doesn’t work out is money. I beg to differ. I think it’s because after marriage, they are disappointed to discover that their partner isn’t the person who they appeared to be.

If you’re young, have no or little experiences in relationships and have only Korean dramas or other romance films as references for your love life, you should read further. Take note, this applies to both sexes.

  1. The Way Your Partner Eats/ Drinks

Before Marriage

Girls: Your partner will sit properly, he will try to eat with as much manners he can muster and he will refrain from burping and farting while he is eating. He will make as little noise as possible, and he will be conscious whether there is any food dripping from his mouth while he is eating. He will make sure he isn’t slurping down the drink. He will refrain from picking at the bits and pieces of meat stuck in his teeth after the meal. He will however excuse himself to go to the toilet and privately do this.

Guys: She will sit bersimpuh or bersila, and if you ask if she’d like a second helping, she’d politely refuse or say she will have so later. She eats quietly, and will refrain from making any noises except to talk. If she is eating with her hands, she will refrain from gnawing on the chicken bones even though she usually does so in private. She’d usually have a napkin nearby to wipe off anything that sticks to her lips. If she feels the need to burp or fart, she’d try to hold it down as long as she could or release it as quietly as she could and pretend nothing ever happened. If she feels as if something is stuck to her teeth, she will excuse herself to go to the toilet, remove the pieces from her teeth and reapply her lipgloss.

1 Year after Marriage:

Minus all that with the burping, farting, bone gnawing and tooth picking at the table.

  1. The Way Your Partner Looks

Before Marriage

Girls: Before each date, he will make sure he has bathed and dressed decently. He will comb his hair nicely, apply hair gel and cologne. Hell, some guys even spend an hour on their hair before a date. He actually puts thought into what he’s wearing.

Guys: She always looks great and smells like flowers. Her makeup is always immaculately applied, her hair is always in place/ her tudung is always neatly pinned, her clothes tidy. She’ll excuse herself to go to the toilet from time to time to reapply her makeup, thus making you believe she wears no makeup at all because she looks great all the time.

1 Year after Marriage:

Girls: He’s too lazy to take baths and most often when he’s sweaty and stinky, he will flop on your made up bed and spread that stink to the whole bedroom. He never wears the cologne at home, only wearing it to go to work. He will wear the oldest and ugliest shirts at home, and huge underwear with holes. When you complain about it he will say those are the most comfortable underwear he owns. Sometimes he goes commando, leaving you to have the honour of doing the laundry and washing the pants of a grown up man with smelly stains. Don’t even talk about the hair. On weekends, you have to stare at that muka air liur basi until lunch because he’s not going to bathe until the afternoon.


a) If your girl is a housewife:

She will NOT look like Bree Van De Kamp. You always seem to come home from work before she has time to bathe after menyiang ikan/mopping up the floor/changing your baby’s diaper, thus she will always end up smelling like a fish market/the toilet/your baby’s poo. Most often after doing all that she is too tired to take a bath but she does so anyway and after taking that bath, she will most likely be too tired to eat what she has cooked for you, and definitely too tired for any action in bed. She will always be clad in huge baju Kedah /T-Shirts and Kain Batik rolled up to the knees, or huge shorts that are comfortable to move around in. You can forget about the makeup. Those days of her wearing baby tees and tight jeans? Long gone.

b) If your girl is working:

She looks like shit when she wakes up, however will look and smell great before she goes to work. When she goes home, she will take off all that makeup and nice clothes she wore to go to work and wear her ‘comfy’ clothes. Read: comfy clothes= clothes that are ugly to look at but comfortable to wear. If you have a baby, she’ll start to smell of baby food and drool 10 minutes after holding the baby. You’ll start to wonder why she makes so much effort to look so great when she has to go out but makes no effort to even wear a perfume when she’s alone with you.

3. In The Bedroom

What You Imagined Before Marriage:

Girls: Everything will be as you have fantasized. You will make love, he will cuddle you afterwards until you fall asleep. Every morning you will wake up in his arms, and he will miraculously wake up the same time as you do. Then he will proceed to stare into your eyes and kiss you on the lips. And his breath will smell like roses. Your bedroom will smell like flowers. Birds will chirp.

Guys: You will have a great sex life. She will have a body of a pornstar and she will wear a sexy and different lingerie every night just for you. Your bed is huge.

1 Year After Marriage:

Girls: The cuddling is uncomfortable and he hates it. He snores. He farts in his sleep. He hogs the blanket. He hogs the bed. You have to refrain from puking everytime you smell his morning breath. He stinks so bad because he told you he was too tired to take a bath after work yesterday. Great. You need to install one of those air fresheners just to get rid of the smell of his sweat from your bedroom.

Guys: She’s always too tired. The work makes her tired. The household chores. The baby. She snores. She farts in her sleep. She has cellulite. She has stretch marks. She wants you to cuddle her constantly even though it’s extremely uncomfortable for you to sleep in that position. She kicks you in her sleep.


King Ung said...

let me welcome you to the blogspot-sphere, Aika.

Too bad i seldom blog in english now, as my english is deteriorating too fast.

don't let the "no comment" blocking ur sense of blogging.

Viel Erfolg! ^^

Pai said...

the truth is men always go for looks and girls go for 'heart'. but the problem is, like u said women wears make up and my from my own opinion, men are simply good actors while dating.sbb tu pijak semut pun x mati.he3.

but i would like the idea of married couple continuing their dating attitude least one date a month where they come separately or the already-bersiap-husband pick his wife from home. but i still just and idea for now.i really want to apply it when i get married or at least i wish i could apply dis idea.

anyway, another good entry.

-fairuz a rashid-

Pai said...


(2nd paragraph, 4th row): ..but it still just an idea or now..

ps:i think i should go to sleep since my hands dont do what my head said anymore :D

Anonymous said...

"He will wear the oldest and ugliest shirts at home, and huge underwear with holes"..

rasa nye..underwear mmg
kene ade holes kot.. tak tau a kalo dah ade trend lain..

magenta said...

Er..i thought an underwear only has 1 hole..not holes..anyway what i meant was underwear yg compang camping serta sudah hilang ke-elastic-ian ia.(a bloody old underwear)

Anonymous said...

im already 2 years with my boyfriend.
he is the one, insyaAllah.

but you know what?
i've farted [even out loud!], puked, burped in front of him.
vice versa

& he still loves me
[thats what he says, hahahaha!]

so yeah, i dont believe in the covering up crap, cause i cant be a hypocrite.

basically, kalau nak, accept!
kalau tak nak, sudah lantak kau lah!


*saya bukan perempuan melayu terakhir :)

magenta said...

Green Tea: Nice. Better to discover who your partner really is before marriage. Or else you're in for a horrible shock once you get married.

I even believe that not knowing your partner before marriage (eg. arranged marriage) is better than having dated a hypocrite for years only to find out he/she is not the person who you thought they were.

I wish you and your bf all the best =)

Anonymous said...

who said marriage is easy...? I suggest couple should stay together first and know what level of toleration they have for each other. Some women are really neat in their personal hygiene and a pleasure to watch..with or without makeup or putting up their makeup...with or without clothes..haha

Its called working at it..if the woman has created a personal habit of being beautiful..she will be the same before or after marriage...

Staying together will let you c whether it is just a show while in real life she is just a slob...haha

Remember its looks that attract a man first..and it is also looks that will also keep them...

If a woman think oh now I ve got him and I can let go....well..

Another factor is also the man's experience..not knowing much about a woman's body may let him to think of woman unrealistically..but a woman's scent..can only be known with u cannot blame a man for his so called "lack of exposure"....:)

Anonymous said...

Haha!! Betol gak mcm tu. Tp bukan sume pasangan kaver2 bajet cun b4 kawen. Ade gak org b4 kawen mmg dh tunjuk perangai sebeno. Pasangannye pulak bole menerima, mane yg bole terima la. Kalo yg x elok, kene ubah ler..huhu..

. said...

I wonder if the same thing happens with celebrity couples?