Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Untuk Surirumah Sa-Malaya #1

Sudah masanya aku berhenti menulis tentang golongan masochist yang menganggap blog aku sebagai perverse pleasure mereka- yang sudah tahu isinya bakal menyinggung perasaan mereka, tetapi tetap juga berkunjung. Aku hanya mahu menulis tanpa perlu risau. Tanpa memikir tentang golongan fascist yang sedang menunggu untuk aku mengeluarkan ayat yang ada elemen politically incorrect supaya mereka dapat menerkam.


Memang ‘bajet’ kan ayat di atas? Macamlah pengunjung blog aku beribu sehari. Aku pun tahu aku bukan penulis yang sempurna dari segi tatabahasa, struktur dan kandungan; major aku dahulu pun kejuruteraan (pengakuan #1). Aku baru tahu siapa Voltaire. Tapi kalau berbicara tentang Fubini, aku mungkin dapat berkata dengan yakin,


“I’m familiar with his work.”


Ini kisah tentang seorang surirumah.
If you’re searching for controversy, there is none.


Ibu aku adalah seorang surirumah in the truest sense. Kami tidak percaya kepada konsep orang gaji. Bukan tak mampu, tetapi we tend to distrust strangers. Masak 3 kali sehari, cuci satu rumah, buat laundry dan mampu menjahit baju Kedah dan baju kurung sendiri, di samping melayan karenah suami dan anak-anak. Mungkin ibu kamu pun seperti ini.


Ada teori yang mengatakan kita tidak akan menyimpan apa-apa memori tentang apa yang berlaku sebelum kita 5 tahun. Tetapi aku ada memori di mana ibu aku, yang kurang fasih berbahasa Inggeris dan tidak tahu definisi metafora, akan meriba aku semasa aku berusia 4 tahun dan membacakan Aesop’s Fables. Aku benci Bahasa Inggeris. Aku benci kisah-kisah yang bermoral.
Pada umur 4 tahun, aku tak dapat grasp konsep sour grapes. Aku berusaha untuk melarikan diri dari riba ibu aku. Cuma sekarang aku baru sedar betapa bijaknya langkah ini – membacakan kepada anak cerita-cerita bermoral seperti Aesop daripada membeli buku-buku yang berjudul 'Anak Arnab yang Bernama Si Comel’ dan 'Kisah Monyet yang Mencuri Pisang’.


Aku ada memori membawa bekal cokodok ke sekolah hingga aku darjah 4. This is unheard of, memandangkan aku membesar di Damansara (pengakuan #2). Ibu aku berusaha menggoreng cokodok di pagi-pagi buta dan meletakkan ke dalam Tupperware untuk dibawa sebagai bekal ke sekolah. Biasanya ibu aku akan melapikkan Tupperware itu dengan tisu dahulu, supaya minyak dapat diserap. Tapi pada pukul 9.20 a.m., semasa waktu rehat, aku membuka Tupperware, cokodok sudah menjadi soggy. Cebisan tisu akan melekat kepada cokodok, akibat menutup Tupperware sejurus selepas meletakkan cokodok yang masih panas ke dalamnya.


Kadang-kadang aku rasa malu kerana terpaksa membawa bekal. Budak-budak lain bawa RM2 sehari. Mereka dapat membeli Paddle Pop warna warni. Mereka dapat membeli nasi lemak di kantin. Tapi perasaan malu itu lama kelamaan hilang. Rakan sekelas selalu menunggu untuk aku mengeluarkan bekal dari beg. Sekali Tupperware itu sudah dibuka, 8 tangan akan menghulur serentak ke dalam bekal untuk mengambil isinya. Mereka suka cokodok mak aku. Mereka kata ibu mereka tak ada masa untuk menggoreng cokodok. Maka ibu aku selalu hairan mengapa walaupun meletakkan 30 cokodok dalam bekal sekalipun, akan tetap habis. Dan aku masih kurus keding macam tak cukup makan.


Ya, hari ini, pemilik tangan-tangan tersebut sudah berjaya membikin filem indie, belajar ‘overc’ dalam jurusan masing-masing dan memakai baju yang direka Roberto Cavalli.


Kadang-kadang orang luar suka memuji kami. Pandai macam bapa, mereka kata. Aku akan kerut dahi. Yang aku baca, IQ itu diturunkan oleh genetik ibu, bukan bapa.


Dan contrary to the misconception bahawa surirumah tidak mempunyai pilihan lain, ibu aku major dalam Textile Technology sebelum dia berkahwin.


“Sebab tu Mak tahu kain-kain tu material apa bila shopping,” dia pernah berkata sambil tersenyum.


Kadang-kadang kerjanya terlalu overwhelming. Dia akan duduk di depan mesin jahit dengan wajah keliru, seolah-olah terlupa kenapa dia berada di situ.
Semua orang mahu marah-marah. Aku pula pada usia yang muda seorang yang demanding. Begitu juga yang lain. Bangun-bangun, mana sarapan pagi? Kenapa mak tak jahit lagi seluar saya yang berlubang semalam? Kenapa susu dalam peti sejuk ni dah habis? Kenapa baju sekolah saya tak diseterika lagi?


Kalau ada anak-anak macamni, memang rasa nak terajang kan? Tapi ibu aku diam saja. Mungkin dia tertanya macam mana dia boleh tercampak dalam situasi sebegini. Dia cantik.
Dia pandai. Today, at 51, she looks like she’s still in her 30s. Akibat tidak pernah memakai mekap.


Ya, aku pun tak faham kenapa ada lagi golongan yang masih mahu menghina surirumah. Memandangkan mereka membuat kerja mereka secara sukarela. Tanpa bayaran seperti orang gaji. Kalau ibu kamu bukan surirumah pun, tentu sekali nenek atau moyang kamu seorang surirumah.


So, unless you can cook, sew, bake, plant, iron, take care of screaming brats and a grown up man, do your and other people’s laundry and take care of household finances, treat and talk of them with respect.


Dah, aku nak teman mak aku pergi Giant.

22 comments:

undomesticwifey said...

Yeah..your mom rocks babe!!

Well written entry for this coming May !! Happy mother's day to her!!

Dayana said...

Kawan saya punya kawan punya Mak, pon belajar sampai menara gading dan graduate dengan suksesnya. Tapi, sekarang surirumah dengan bangganya.

Dan kawan saya punya kawan tu, sekarang kat satu IPTA dalam negara, bukan overc, dalam jurusan petroleum engineering, top of her class, juga bercita-cita untuk menjadi just like her mom.

Not everyone can do that. Being a housewife, I mean.

takahara-suiko said...

woh.

kene buat box office nih.

biar semua orang tau macam mana Mak boleh jadi super-woman dan tak dapat se-sen pun.

47 said...

"Dah, aku nak teman mak aku pergi Giant"

aaawww :)

desperate housewife said...

you are a darling ;-)

zureen said...

awww. i miss my mom.

='(

Bovril Lavigne said...

Like I said, you gots to know your biology, chemistry, physics and psychology to be a surirumah. Those people yg make fun of suri rumah are probably latchkey kids or maybe they're thinking of some mak datin yg hire other people to do housework.

I don't know about you, but I was proudly authoritarian on my last blog. So screw ppl who give irrelevant comments with bad grammar. You don't need to approve it esp if ada yg make fun of mak. We're not here to give a voice to the dense and "challenged". Btw, I am looking forward to the day I can finally become a suri rumah :P

p/s: the no memory before 5 theory is bull la. I totally remember stuff when I was 4.

amy said...

hey magenta. (feels funny calling you this)

i frequent this blog though very rarely you see me here in the comment section. i admire that your writing is debating and dissecting facts, while i am happy writing vague floating emotions. i like most of your posts and immediately after reading them i form this liking and opinions on them. but most of these responses are merely "that's fucking brilliant" or of smiles/laughs of agreeing. (not worth posting a comment, you must agree?)

but now, now i am deeply moved to have my response to this post and the one prior to it, known.

"god cant be everywhere, that's why he made mothers". i believe god can, god is, everywhere, but that is besides the point. (i am not obliged to explain where my faith stands to anyone anyway). i came across that saying going through some of my dad's old books. i understand it and i understand it to be true. i worship my mother. she may never know this. i could be the bitchiest daughter at times and i have been a not-so-good daughter to her, but that was when you were ridiculously young and still thought SPM is the sole determining factor of your future (btw, school is a complete joke to me....well at least our schools. and for you fools out there who get excited to attack at such a statement, i said school, not education).

housewife is the definition of superwoman. like magenta very rightly pointed out- who else can cook, sew, bake, plant, iron, take care of screaming brats and a grown up man, do your and other people’s laundry and take care of household finances? she is a mother. she is a housewife. yeah, so i have to work my ass off through med school for 5 years to become a doctor, so what? i dont think that tops the housewife that my mother is. you take for granted this housewife, like you take for granted your normal physiology of urinating & defecating as just daily routines. you dont know what a miserable life it is if you were no longer able to piss or shit.

i've had a fair share of asshole doctors and bigger-of-an asshole med students. i wont waste my time preaching to these assholes. i however would like to say to those who are convinced that they are passionate about medicine and this passion being inspired by House MD, Grey's Anatomy or ER even; try being a house officer in a government hospital and see if you could last a day. then, then, you can speak of your love for medicine.

Anonymous said...

im not missing my mom. at least, yet.

tapi bila baca entri ni, rasa mcm nak call mama lah pulak. in fact, dah call pun tadi. mama ajar cara nak masak sambal tumis/sambal nasi lemak.

magenta said...

Hehe. Pergi giant pun dah aww. Seriously I am a pain in the arse untuk dibesarkan. Tak layak untuk dipanggil darling. Heh.

Yupe, mothers rock. Except the ones who shoot their kids, leave their babies in the drain and (insert other examples here). I'm not really asking for anyone to suddenly hug and say 'I love you' to their Moms here tapi if you wanna do it, apa salahnya. Except I was never the touchy feely type. To me, a simple thank you would suffice.

Bovril: I guess the before 5 theory is bull after all. I suddenly feel as if I can remember a lot of things that happened when I was 4.

Amy: Well, being the narcissist that I sometimes am, a smile of agreement from someone like you, who's opinions I've always respected and enjoy conversing with, is always welcomed. Heheh.

I was wondering where you disappeared to. I was thinking of you not so long ago, especially when I wrote in my previous post that I had two close friends who were med students who weren't assholes.

Nicely written, my friend. The part where you wrote how we take our mothers for granted. Haha, remember dulu I said I wanted to marry House. Tahpape.

anonymous: sambal tumis. one of my favorite dishes. mmmm.

chengroundedhere said...

:( Apa ni, this post made me feel so sad.

One because rasa sayang pada mak, two because I dunno what cokodok is! First roti jala, now this. Malu betul Malaysian ni. Damn the tempurung. *ribbit*

broken_nigina said...

kadang-kadang sesuatu yang nampak remeh dan dianggap remeh sebenarnya paling berat dan mencabar nak dilaksanakan.
tak semua orang ada kekuatan untuk itu..

NeEM™ of Suicide Park said...

My mom pun hsewife, my aunt pun - walaupun ada degree dan blajar overc.

Perempuan, klu suami mampu, tak rugi pun jadi housewife. Ilmu yang ada, boleh dicurah pada anak-anak. Macam Magenta's mom- boleh jahit baju anak-anak dan suami.

NeEM? Setakat jahit butang boleh la.
Lagipun, setiap sumbangan seorang wanita dalam rumahtangga mendapat pahala berganda.

Jadi surirumah blogger lagi cool!
Blogger bukan takde keje dan takde life. Sebab Magenta ada life lah dia boleh tulis blog.

Klu takde life, nak tulis apa?

magenta said...

chen: Hey, don't be sad. Hehe. I'm sure ada other Malaysians who have no idea what cokodok is. Cokodok is a type of kuih made from flour and banana. It looks like this-->

Cokodok

Sometimes people sell it at the gerai tepi jalan in Malaysia. You could check it out next time you come back to Malaysia.

broken nigina: Tak ada kekuatan atau.. Tak ada stamina. Hehe.

neem: Hehe yang Datin Diaries dulu tu blogger surirumah kan? Famous dia dulu.

Maybe orang yang kutuk blogger tak ada life tu adalah orang yang akan mengambil masa 5 jam untuk mengarang suatu post. Mereka tak dapat bayangkan bahawa kebanyakan blogger sebenarnya ambil on average 30 minutes (give or take a few minutes) untuk 1 post.

erm said...

you're lucky,ibu aku bekerja+house wife

imagine aku kelaparan bila tengahari.....kengkadang ibu masak...kengkadang tidak(dia tido!)
selalunya beli

oh dulu time kecik2,aku selalu buat ibu aku nangis

susah betol jadi ibu/wife...tak lupa...susah juga jadi anak yg baik

chengroundedhere said...

ehhhhhh i DO know what that is!! pernah makan also, hehehe. tak tau nama saja. i usually just think of them as the banana balls. :P

amy said...

i dissapeared for exam. i had a sucky time sitting for it. but thank god it turned out alright. now i'm kinda less busy and that's why you're seeing more of me here.

am i really? one of your 2 close friends who are med students? i feel very honored. =p (i better be one of them! HAHAHA)

i very much respect your opinions too. and i thoroughly enjoyed all the conversations that transpired between us.

sometimes when i think of how much i take my mom for granted, it really frightens me.

ok, so the wedding is off.... what about a date with House? still up for it? haha. it'd not be boring that's for sure=)

magenta said...

erm: Kesian..

chen: Ha! Nasib baik tahu.

amy: Cis. Yes you are! Fishing for compliments pulak. Haha.

I stopped having those kinda feelings for House already. And you can have Johnny Depp all to yourself. :P You still like him, don't you? I stopped liking celebrities after they hit 40.

shiba said...

ye. saya pn rasa housewife adalah 1 kerjaya yg sgt hebat. i'm doing my masters rite now, but my ultimate dream is to be a housewife. someday. ye. saya mau jd suri rumah sepenuh masa. org (kwn2 selalunya) selalu pelik n bg statement: "klu nk jd surirumah baik xpyh sekolah tggi". tp saya jwb, nk masuk dapur, jaga anak pn kna ada ilmu gak. like ur mom, dia dpt guna ilmu textile dia utk buat bju. kn? saya xnmpk ape yg buruk pada housewife. cuma mgkn saya perlu bekerja selagi income husband xmcukupi. bila dah cukup n beranak pinak, insyaAllah saya nk berenti. takut bila baca baby mninggal tersedak susu kt nursery. yep, mmg ajal di tangan Allah, tp bukan ke less terkilan if time tu dia ada dengan kita? wallahualam.

lg 1. i studied about human dev, kids blh igt ape yg blaku bwh 5tn. setahu saya, dlm umur 1-2 yrs yg memory blm develop dgn baik. betulkan if salah.

nabilah saraf said...

masa aku kat kolej di ukm, ada sorg motivator ni ckp, surirumah= domestic engineer.

cool kan?

Anonymous said...

mama... i love u!!

leaf said...

:) why do you stop writing here?
you buat orang yang berhati plastik lebur jadi hati natural kembali.