Friday, April 11, 2008

Sixteen

Puisi adalah sesuatu yang complicated. Terlalu ramai orang tulis puisi tentang putus cinta. Tentang mahu membunuh diri dan tak mahu bangun pagi. Tentang friendship. Puisi senang buat orang macam aku rasa menyampah. Puisi senang membuat orang yang easily impressed rasa terharu.


Dari umur 14-17, aku suka tulis puisi. Lepas itu aku trade poems untuk Maths problems. Pada umur 17, ada orang minta satu puisi aku untuk dipublish dalam majalah sekolah. Untuk kali pertamanya, aku bersetuju untuk mempublish puisi aku di bawah nama sebenar aku. Langkah yang bodoh.


Ini yang tercetak dalam majalah sekolah pada akhir tahun itu:


You were made from vinegar and ice
And everything they despised

Sixteen, without purpose or direction

Incapable of making a decision

It isn’t any revelation
I’m in infatuation

I had found heaven in hell

Philosophy of life in a nutshell


Sixteen, without a conscience
With an infatuation turned into an obsession
I saw you mirroring my reflections
Loved you more for those idiotic reasons
I let my youth go wasted
I saw my future go shattered
But in the end it was you that mattered.


"Ko tulis pasal mamat mana ni?" tanya orang lain.

"Aku tulis pasal dadah la. Ice tu crystal meth."


Semua terdiam.


Aku tak paham kenapa puisi aku kena publish sebelah puisi tentang teenage angst. Semua orang puji penulis itu. Lepas itu, pandang aku dan berkata,


"Err. Poem ko ok jugak. Tapi aku tak paham apa ko tulis."

"Ala… bukan susah pun. First 2 lines tu parody poem 'Girls are made from sugar and spice and everything nice'…"


Semua pandang aku dengan muka keliru.


5 tahun kemudian, aku cuba lagi. Aku keluarkan puisi itu dan tunjukkan kepada kawan aku.


"Do you know what I’m writing about?"

"It’s about your ex boyfriend at 16, kan?"


I give up. I’ve learnt that it’s no use writing about something people don’t understand. Sebab nanti aku sendiri yang akan jadi dramatik dan merungut tak habis-habis tentang how people misunderstood me and all that crap.


Puisi memang complicated.

29 comments:

Siberkop said...

Ok, Teratorian datang lagi,

dan aku suka menafsir puisi,

mungkin yg tersurat bukan semuanya.

magenta said...

Haha. Hidup Terato.

Aku dah tak suka berpuisi akibat menyampah dengan puisi2 sendiri.

Aku suka baca puisi orang je. Dan kutuk. Ataupun puji dalam hati.

anonymouse said...

Macam ini kah umat Islam ataupun anda islam totok PAS. anda mengutuk yang ada sex life tapi mempromosi dadah.

Anda mengikut ajaran Nik Aziz agaknya. muahaha.

magenta said...

Hmmm betullah tu. Dengan jelasnya aku telah mempromosi dadah dengan meletakkan pujian macam2 ke atasnya seperti dadah merosakkan masa depan dan mensia-siakan youth.

Terima kasih anonymouse, tanpa komen kamu tak mungkin aku sedar akan kesilapan aku.

yoursistah said...

Alamak..mcm ada org tak lulus MUET je...muahahaha.

Anonymouse...dalam bahasa puisi bermaksud seorang yang penakut kan?

freakmie said...

hahahah...buat aku tersenyum beb..

iqanabeera. said...

school magazines or yearbooks are never the right mediums to publish stuff.

melainkan fiksyen stereotaip dan puisi orang hormon tak seimbang.

erm said...

beri pertolongan kepada yg meminta...jangan bagi secara percuma...nescaya mereka2 tidak menghargainya

bluek!

entry about your friends pleesh...hehe

NeEM™ of Suicide Park said...

Hahah..sebab tu klu tulis puisi untuk boyfren, neem tulis yg standard budak 16 tahun.

Bukan sebab dia tak poetic, sebab dia lelaki. heh.

magenta said...

To my sistah: Hahaha!

freakmie: Baguslah.

iqa: That's why I let it happen just once. :)

erm: Tak nak.

neem: Hahaha betul. Kalau seseorang laki tu berjiwa puitis, dia either terlalu emosi hingga kawan2 dia panggil dia gay, ataupun dia memang seorang yang brilliant. The latter is hard to come by.

anonymouse (original) said...

To blogger owner. Magenta please dont accept anymore comment from anonymouse. Please delete the comment from anonymouse above. I will change to something else. Someone has stolen my nick. Sheeesh...anonymouse nick pun nak curi..takde class betul.

zureen said...

hahaha. last night before going to bed i thought u named your blog "Made From Vinegar and Ice" because you used to be sour and cold (read = were). no offense! punyala buat mental note nak tanya u.

i suppose i got my answer already.

takahara-suiko said...

puisi yang tak faham lah best.

Pasal hanya segelintir entiti dalam masyarakat tipikal Bolehland yang dapat faham puisi complicated.

plus, boleh buat antologi sendiri. kasi masuk udara segar dalam minda yang tertutup.




kak magenta, buat lagi!


p/s: ok sekarang dah faham.

Idlan said...

Semalam aku tunjuk secret puisi stash aku kat seorang kawan. Dia kata, dia suka baca sebab sekarang dia tahu siapa tulis, dan sekarang dia tahu apa konteks. Tiba-tiba aku rasa bogel yang amat.

magenta said...

anonymouse original: Korang ni main2 pulak. Dulu copy paste. Sekarang curi nick. Lepasni apala pulak. For all I know you and the anonymouse above boleh jadi orang yang sama.

takahara: Haha ada dalam 50 lagi hasil dulu kala. Entahla. Bila baca puisi ni umpama macam boleh see through the writer's soul. Segan nak post di sini.

Idlan: Tu la. Aku pun rasa macamtu. Entah kenapa rasa puisi ni macam something yang sangat personal.

Anonymouse said...

ah bila nak citer pasal kawan2 yg hot?

chak! hahahaha siapa saya?

magenta said...

anonymouse #3: Ha, nickname ni lagi best dari nick lama- erm. Erm- bunyi seperti orang yang teragak2 dan tak konfiden. Dengan ambil nick anonymouse yang terserlah dengan keberanian, tentu ramai gadis hot nak berkenalan.

Dah dah. Blog aku sacred. Tak baik buat gelanggang lawak.

Aku benci untuk akui. Tapi korang buat aku gelak dengan komen2 macamni.

zureen: Hahaha. You got that from Salvation eh? But no. This is where the blog name came from.

amy said...

hey, how come i've never read any of your puisi? i remember having you read mine. tak aci!! well ok, at least now i get to read this one, but so does everybody else- i thought i was special. HAHAHA. i too am narcissistic sometimes=p

man, to hell with these people who apparently are forever doomed to be stuck with highschool mentality. come to think of it, when i was in highschool pun, i takde la rambang mata nampak boys in every single thing. that poem is definitely in star light star bright fashion NOT about boys. argh! even i am pissed for you, magenta!

that's why my puisi are sacred to me. i mean, yeah, i do get some of them out in the open, but the special ones i keep only to myself and important people. hehe. lagi sekali tekan butang lif sendiri.

hey, keep writing them puisi. write them for yourself. if you're gonna quit at all, quit writing for others. i dont need to be telling you this. it's something you already embrace. i suppose i was saying it to myself=)

takahara-suiko said...

Hehe.

Sekurang-kurangnya boleh membogelkan diri dengan cara pos puisi dan bukan cerita sex life :P

iqanabeera. said...

i found a guy yang berjiwa puitis, and definitely not gay.

i thought i found the right person. tapi he's taken.

kesian tak? heh.

farizzet said...

iqa: kesian ko....
tapiaku berjiwa puitis, definitely not gay

and

not taken

Siberkop said...

Aku patut promote blog aku nampaknya kepada sapa yg tak tahu.

Ada some poems in there. Silakan.

HIDUP TERATO!(Magenta fetish Terato?)

magenta said...

amy: Hahaha this one is NOT special. It was in my yearbook. Well, I did mention I had a poem book if I remember correctly. But I guess I never brought it to the hostel.

Biasalah. Kids nowadays. Berjiwa jiwang. They see filem Yusof Haslam in everything. I haven't written a poem in a long, long time.

takahara: Hahaha! Bogel dengan puisi lagi personal dari dengan cerita sex life kot. Puisi boleh menampakkan jiwa seseorang.

iqa: Hehehe. Kat atas nu ada orang offer.

fariz: Amboi amboi.

siberkop: Selain daripada menjadi ruang mencari jodoh, ruang komen ini juga boleh dijadikan tempat untuk mempromosi blog. Haha!

Bukan fetish Terato. Fetish terhadap wit Jeremy Clarkson.

iqanabeera. said...

err. but you're my friend's brother. pelik lah pulak. LOL.

jipo said...

form 5 ko tulis tu? gempak gila..
hmm first 2 lines tu mcm opening credit Powerpuff Girls?..hahaha..aaa kantoi..aku pon igt pasal boyfren ko ke..haha nmpak sgt mentaliti aku malas nk fikir dlm2...ish,xpuas ati sungguh aku..:P

Puteri Gunung Ledang said...

One thing about being sixteen.
People who knew you WELL may not actually translate it into what typically what a sixteen poems are about. Cause the people who jnew you WELL would have known that you don't have a boyfriend or crush or what soever. Typically sixteen in Malaysia are about boyfriend, peer preasure, school work, teachers, smoking. Drugs and sex probably less. And typically Malaysian sixteen wouldn't have understand what a non typical sixteen are like so they treat everyone as typically them. Else when you are getting older typical so call wise people will treat every past sixteen will treat the past sixteen are about boyfriends etc.
So you should accept the typical comment by typical people.
People will treat others typically because they don't know you well.
Did I make any sense at all? LOL

magenta said...

jipo: Haha form 4. Ko takpe. Ko keje Daimler. Takyah susahkan kepala otak pikir benda abstrak. :p

PGL: Haha. Actually, I was a pretty normal 16 year old. :)

broken_nigina said...

yang susah nak faham baru mengujakan.
bila lagi nak guna otak lebih?
tapi kebanyakan orang mudah tolak mentah-mentah sesuatu yang memerlukan diorang untuk guna otak lebih..takut luak..

leaf said...

poets write in a language only the ones closest can understand.

tapi kalau takde yang close, kita je la yang faham. i bet plath burnt plenty of her poems cause no one understood her.